Blah Blah Blog

Lessons from Roger Williams

2012-02-23T06:44:00.000-08:00

I am reading to my 9 year old a little book called Once Upon a Time in RI which was written in 1914. It is not a first source or anything; it’s just a collection of historical stories (true stories, it says) telling of some major events in the founding of RI for children.

I am only in the second chapter, but I think that modern Christians have much to learn from Roger Williams. I think some have forsaken the priority and call to share the gospel and love the “heathen” and are instead trying to use government power to force what they perceive as God’s agenda upon them.

Christ’s love is much more powerful. I am not saying that Christians shouldn’t run for office or vote or advocate their position. I am just saying that forcibly imposing our will through government....even if it is in keeping with God’s standard, was not God’s chosen way for “change”. His chosen way was Christ and the gospel.

Roger Williams had the same issues, “Moreover, the Puritan rulers in Boston allowed the Magistrates there to punish people not only for breaking the laws about lying and stealing and so on, they also had the right to punish people for not going to church, or for breaking the Sabbath day, or for not believing as the Puritan ministers taught them. This seemed to Williams very wrong. He did not think the magistrates could have any such power as that.” 1 Instead, Williams “busied himself with teaching and preaching, and also began to seek out the Indians and make friends with them.” 2

He spent much of his time with the Indians. He wasn’t reveling in or approving of their sin, unbelief, etc. but sharing Christ with them with his very life. They seemed to welcome him. He had respect for them. One thing that got him into trouble with the Governor was that he believed that all the land belonged to the indians, and only they had the right to sell or give away portions of land, not the King of England.

And let’s not say that Williams was some wishy-washy Christian, his true agenda was the gospel, that is clear. He wrote and lived the truth and challenged the establishment’s doctrine.....sounds a lot like Luther.

I wonder how much further we would get in “encouraging” righteousness in our society, if we took our time to seek out the lost and live among them, invited them to our tables or dined at theirs, learned their language, and respected their rights as people. I know there are Christians out there doing just that, many, many of them. Unfortunately, they are not the Kings and Governors and Puritan rulers. So I guess this is a thought for the leaders and talkers who are called Christian.

I know there is truth to be defended, consequences to curtail, Christian persecution to consider, but we cannot coerce people to believe as we do. Do we really want to use the government to do so? (This goes both ways, do those who do not believe as we do, really want to use government to force us to believe what they do?)
Even those things that are no-compromise issues for us - abortion for example. How was it that the barbarians and savages of old stopped sacrificing their babies to their gods?   Missionaries came. Missionaries were martyred. Savages came to Christ and stopped killing their children. That’s the power that changes. Not government laws or edicts.

Why not try Roger’s way? Why not try Christ’s way?

1 Once Upon a Time in RI by Katherine Pyle pg. 24-25
2 Ibid pg. 22

Waste Not

2012-02-14T18:25:00.001-08:00

So, I got this cookbook for Christmas called "More-with-Less". A friend and mentor of mine when I was in college cooked from it all the time, but we were a "Fanny Farmer" cookbook family, so I never thought much again about this cookbook until I read three or four blogs where the individuals used recipes that came from the book. So I asked for it for Christmas and now this waste not post.

It always really gets to me when I go to dinner parties or gatherings where people throw away perfectly good food! I watched a friend of mine throw away about a pound of fresh vegetables off of a veggie tray into her trash can. I tried not to gasp! Well, after reading this book, I realized how very wasteful I was being myself. I would buy fresh herbs for a recipe, which would of course, go bad in my fridge after I had used what I needed. Heels of bread would mold in the bread basket until they weren't even acceptable to feed the chickens.

At the end of each chapter of More-with-Less is a section called "Gather Up the Fragments". I have been trying to follow this advice, although I haven't quite grasped how to use the meat scraps. However, I probably have made about 3 cannisters' worth of perfectly good (better than store-bought) bread crumbs and cubes from my bread scraps. Can you believe I was just throwing away the stumps of my home-made bread! For shame!

I save all of my bread ends, old (but not moldy) bagels, rolls, etc. and throw them in a bag in my freezer. (This bag is not truly representative as I didn't think to take pictures of my first batch, but you get the idea.)

When I have a good amount saved, I cut any chunks into slices and put them on a cookie tray to toast in the oven.

Then I put the toast into my food processor. Some of it comes out a little chunky, and some of it comes out as crumbs. The chunky pieces I can use for stuffing (which I make maybe once a year.)

Here's my step-mother's grandmother's recipe:

Kate Larsen's Bread Stuffing

(this got rave reviews from the cooks in the kitchen at our church Thanksgiving dinner...).

1 large loaf of white or wheat bread- leave out to get stale for about two hours...

OR substitute the leftover bread-end, bread cubes from your freezer!

Cut into cubes or use as is if small enough.

Place in large bowl and moisten with a little water or broth (enough just to moisten - about 1 - 1 1/2 cups?)

Add to bread: 1 medium onion chopped fine, 1 stalk celery chopped fine, LOTS of fresh Parsley (don't use dried, this is the secret ingredient that makes this fabulous - use the whole bunch!), 6-8 stalks fresh thyme (dry is fine for this ing. about 1/2 t.), 1 1/2 t. salt, 1/4 t. pepper, and about 3-4 eggs, enough to make it bind. Mix well with your hands and stuff it in your turkey/chicken or bake it in a covered dish.

I use the crumbs for any breaded recipe.

Like Eggplant Parmesan - I made extra and put that in the freezer too.

I have also been drying any leftover herbs that I buy on a nail above my sink and I have been freezing any veggies that are not going to be used in the immediate future....except lettuce, of course.

Maybe next I can render the fat I cut off of our meats to make my soap? Nah.

More Insights from Laura Ingalls Wilder

2012-02-08T12:19:00.000-08:00

I am reading aloud to my daughter, "These Happy Golden Years". In the beginning of the book, Laura is teaching at a school about 12 miles from her home and boarding with a man and his wife while she teaches the school for, I believe, 8 weeks. The wife is sullen, rude, silent and brooding. She does not speak to Laura at all, even though Laura tries to be pleasant to her. The wife even threatens to kill her husband one night with a knife if he won't take her home back east. Granted, the homestead winter was not easy, but the contrast between Laura's time with this family, and the Long Winter with her own family, is sharp. Laura refuses to complain about her time out with the Brewsters because she knows her family needs the money to keep Mary in college, even though her very life may be in danger.

She is so overjoyed and thankful at the end of the term, when she returns to her own peaceful home. There is nothing amazing about their home, but Laura's love for her parents and their mutual love and respect for each other sits in sharp contrast to the Brewsters' home.

This morning, I read this scripture:

"Better a little with the fear of the LORD
than great wealth with turmoil.

Better a meal of vegetables where there is love
than a fattened calf with hatred."

- Proverbs 15: 16-17

Although the Brewsters fed Laura sufficiently, the food was flavorless; the atmosphere was heavy in the little claim shanty. She could not break the sullen weight of that disgruntled wife.

Her home with Ma and Pa and her siblings was peace and joy. They never seemed to get ahead materially, but they made do and were thankful for the little they had, even if it was the blackbird pie that they made from the blackbirds that ate their entire cornfield.

It was like the perfect story-picture of this proverb.

Then I thought, how is the atmosphere in my home? Are my children and husband ecstatic to be at home? Is there fear of the Lord and love in my home? or turmoil and strife?

I'd like to think that I have a peaceful and joyful home, but it is something to continually strive for. Circumstances can so often bring turmoil, and those circumstances are so often financial. It's funny that the Proverb not only contrasts love and hatred, but plenty and want - with plenty on the side of hatred, and want on the side of love.

It is best to be content with little, and not to allow the fear of want to squander the faith and love in our homes.

In the Crosshairs

2012-01-25T17:07:00.000-08:00

So, I went out for coffee/dessert with a bunch of homeschool moms last night. We talked about a lot of things, but at one point, we were discussing those homeschool kids who had left the nest and some were asking, “how has their experience been out in the world?” I have a daughter who is a freshman in college and where I have not heard too many shocking world-exposure experiences from her, there have been a few. Another woman at the table was sharing some real horror stories that her children had experienced at college and in the workforce. When we asked her, “wow, really? So, what do you do?” She said, “I pray.”

This morning, I woke up and next up in my reading was Psalm 11. As I read I thought....wow, she was right, we need to pray. And, I think God is telling us that our children are in the crosshairs.

Psalm 11
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
    For the director of music. Of David.

1 In the LORD I take refuge.

I take refuge in God and no where else.  

How then can you say to me:  
“Flee like a bird to your mountain.  
2 For look, the wicked bend their bows;  
they set their arrows against the strings  to shoot from the shadows
at the upright in heart.
 3 When the foundations are being destroyed,  
what can the righteous do?”

Those around me and even I am thinking these exact things: run away, hide! Bring them back home! Look they are just sitting ducks, targets for the evil one! The wicked have their bows poised in the dark for those who walk upright! What will happen if the foundation we have laid falls? What can Christian parents do?

Now just to clarify, Christians do not think they or their children are “righteous”. We are sinners, our only righteousness comes from Christ.   When I think of the righteous in the Psalms, I think it applies to those who are following God and seeking to obey His word as it would apply in the Old Testament. Even David was a sinner, yet he referred to himself as righteous because of his relationship with God. The righteous would be the opposite of the wicked who are: 1) attacking God and His People, 2) not striving for righteousness as God has defined it.

4 The LORD is in his holy temple;  
the LORD is on his heavenly throne.  
He observes the sons of men;  
his eyes examine them.
5 The LORD examines the righteous,  
but the wicked and those who love violence  
his soul hates.
 6 On the wicked he will rain  
fiery coals and burning sulfur;  
a scorching wind will be their lot.
7 For the LORD is righteous,  
he loves justice;  
upright men will see his face.

Whew! That’s right, “In the LORD I take refuge!" He is on His throne and He sees all that is happening and examines each one, righteous and wicked alike. We can pray to Him when we see arrows pointed at our children.

I suppose, a lesson to those with children still at home, be diligent to teach these things: that God is our refuge, that He is on His throne, He sees all, He is righteous, He is just, and upright men will see His face AND PRAY. Be the person that your children “flee” to for coaching and guidance when that time comes. An interesting point observed last night, was that these young adults had informed their parents of these experiences they had had.....they were not afraid to come home (or call home) and say, “hey, mom and dad, this is what I heard and saw today.” Be so close to your children that they are not afraid to share something shocking with you.

It’s hard to sit by and not intervene, but these are our adult children, even if they are still somewhat dependent on us, they need to know that God is in His temple; He is on His throne. THEY need to grasp that God watches the sons of men, both righteous and wicked. And THEY need to know which group they identify with and follow that path themselves. Hopefully, they have believed on Jesus in their own hearts and minds and are clinging to Him as they face the world, and if they aren't, we can pray for them.

In the LORD I take refuge.....

The LORD is in his holy temple...
the LORD is on his heavenly throne. ....
He observes the sons of men.....  

Defining Perseverance

2012-01-04T18:47:00.000-08:00

Does anyone have perseverance anymore?

perseverance - ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)rəns
noun
1 steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success
2 Theology continuance in a state of grace leading finally to a state of glory.

My daughter and I are reading “The Long Winter” by Laura Ingalls Wilder and there were several instances where I am astounded by their perseverance and their expectations for perseverance.

Some of the very basic instances in the book have to do with the family’s perseverance in keeping themselves warm and fed. They all take turns at twisting hay for fuel until their hands bleed. The coffee mill must always be cranked to grind the wheat for the day’s bread because the mill grinds so little at time. Baby Grace sits on Mary’s lap near the stove for which seems like hours on end! Is that Mary persevering or Baby Grace? Either way, it’s pretty impressive. Pa hauls hay from the slough, with the horse falling through the snow as he goes. He perseveres in getting the horse out of the snow and around the hole. He doesn’t turn back home saying, it’s no use. He continues on in order to bring the hay home for feed and fuel.

In one instance, Pa is sharing with the family why the trains have stopped coming through to them. The Superintendent was bound and determined to get the trains through the snow with blizzards coming and lasting 3 days each, with maybe a day’s break in between. He decides to drive an engine into the snow bank on the tracks starting 2 miles away and building up speed to charge through the snowbank. The engineer refuses the job, calling it suicide, and so the Superintendent does it himself. He ends up buried and frozen into the snowbank until they dig him and the engine out. He then gives up and states that the trains won’t run until spring. Pa says that the Superintendent lacks perseverance.

Huh, really? What did he expect him to do? I guess he expected him to keep on charging into the cut until he got through. Yep, I think that’s what he expected.

Another instance is when Almanzo and Cap Garland leave town to find wheat that is rumored to have been raised by a homesteader some 20 miles away. It’s a rumor, no assurance that it is even there or where it is if it is. It is bitter cold, the blizzards have only been stopping for a day at a time. They also periodically fall through the snow as they travel over the undetectable sloughs. They run along side the horses and sleds to warm their feet. They slap their hands on their chests to keep the blood flowing through their numb hands. Almanzo and Cap are a true picture of perseverance. They risk their lives, with no benefit to themselves, to save many in the town from starving to death. There is no more food in the stores and no hope of deliveries with the trains stopped. Even when they reach their destination, they buy the wheat and head back home, refusing the hospitality of the homesteader in order to get home.

Huh, really? They were freezing, near frost bit, dead tired, and they didn’t stay the night even?

The Ingalls had academic perseverance. The girls all studied their books at home since they couldn’t risk going to school with the blizzards. Even Mary, blind, memorized the readers and did her math figures in her head.

They had spiritual and moral perseverance too. They rarely complained and when they did they repented immediately, sharing their gratefulness for what they had. Instead of seeing how cold they were, they thought of how much colder they would be if they had stayed on the claim. Ma sees the emptying wheat sack in the corner and yet trusts that Pa will provide for them. She doesn’t say a word until he asks. Instead of moping, they sang songs. Even when Pa’s hands were so bad that he couldn’t play the fiddle, the girls all suggested singing anyway.

We certainly lack all of these levels of perseverance. I think because we do not need to persevere in our physical lives, we do not persevere in our moral, or spiritual lives. We don’t even necessarily need to provide for ourselves or our own families, we have entitlements that we lean back on. We can give up.

Physically and in other aspects of my life, if something is too hard, I just don’t do it. I am wondering if that is a sin of sorts? If God calls me to do something, to persevere in something, it is.

I remember when I first became a believer, hearing the testimony of a young woman who was engaged to a talented college-bound football player in her high school. She was the beautiful cheerleader, super-model type. She was caught in all those worldly trappings, sleeping with her boyfriend (understandably), on the fast-track to the professional-beauty world. Then she became a believer in Jesus and ended it all. She gave it all up for the sake of persevering in righteousness, to obey Christ.

Some of us don’t even persevere in righteousness. How often do we choose sin, justifying our actions? Calling the call to obedience “legalism” for our own purposes? God’ll get over it. The Cross covers it. That is lack of perseverance of the spiritual nature.

Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

endure - enˈd(y)oŏr
verb
1 [ trans. ] suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently
• tolerate (someone or something)
2 [ intrans. ] remain in existence; last

“What do you need for Christmas?”

2011-12-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

I know Christmas is over, but I wanted to ask, “What do you need for Christmas?”

All the kids, retailers, etc. will hate me for this, but what if Christmas was really about giving?   REAL giving.

I mean, Christ came and died and paid the price for sin, and purchased our salvation because we needed it. It wasn’t a frivolous materialistic purchase for our pleasure. He didn’t come to throw flowers and spread love. He came to buy, pay and purchase us. It was a deadly need. Our lives depended on it.

What if we asked people what do you NEED for Christmas? What if it was truly others-focused and based on their needs? It’s a socialist idea, really, but so much different when it comes from the heart of each man for another, rather than an unchosen government imposition. There are Christian organizations that provide for needs around the world. Christmas is really a big time of year for them, because people are in a giving mood. But what if we were like that with everyone?

Here in America, we don’t really need much, but what if the kids got new pajamas, new boots, or new eyeglasses for Christmas instead of Xboxes and cell phones? What if we went around asking friends and relatives, “hey, what do you need for Christmas?” In a real community, word would get around that old Mrs. Smith just needs $50 to pay for her prescriptions this month, teacher needs a new muffler on her car, mommy needs a new pair of slippers, and daddy could use a new snow shovel.

As it is, the question is always, “what do you WANT for Christmas?” Maybe I am just too practical, but I think if we spent all the $ we shell out for frivolities at Christmas for things that folks really need, there would be a lot of needs met and some very happy people....not just materially, but knowing that someone has your back, someone is looking for how they can bless you and meet your needs.

We have a warped view of wants vs. needs here in America anyway, and I think that is a huge part of our problem as individuals and as a nation. When we think that computers and cellphones are needs, there is a problem (they are, though, for me. I know, I have a problem.) But really what do we NEED?   Even if we make some allowances in the definition for us as Americans, we could certainly reduce the materialism in our lives if we looked, really looked to meet people’s needs.

I got my daughter some things she NEEDED for Christmas this year. She is living in cold, cold Rochester, NY, and so she needed a warmer coat, warmer shoes, warmer clothes, and a hat. Yet, I still felt like I should get her something fun. I feel like there is this cultural pressure to get “fluffy” things for people for Christmas. It’s not really appropriate to get practical things for people for Christmas, but wouldn’t that be better? Wouldn’t it be best to put aside the fluff, ask people what they need, and have a nice dinner for Christmas?

My youngest and I have been reading Laura Ingalls Wilder, and they were deliriously happy over the Christmas candy in their stockings and perhaps a new pair of mittens, even for just the Christmas dinner itself, and any people that joined them.

Think of the reduced pressure, the return of true Christmas Spirit, in asking people,
“What do you need for Christmas?”

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-26T12:57:00.000-08:00

Castle card for Aidan

As I consider my parenting article, I thought about tying strings of fellowship with regards to Christmas.   I read an article about different Christmas traditions people had and thought a few would be worth implementing, but we are all so busy in the Christmas season. Do we really want to start something else? I was thinking that really, choosing one or two meaningful or significant traditions is really what will stick in the memories of our families. Sometimes it is better to just allow traditions to form rather than forcing them. In my mind, a tradition should take the focus off of self and put it on the true meaning of Christmas......or at least, on a greater meaning than materialism.

For a few years, we did an Advent Wreath, which I really like the idea of. It just didn’t work for our family. Honestly, we just couldn’t get consistent about it. Sometimes my husband was home for dinner, sometimes not, and dragging people back to the table each night for doing the readings and wreath was like pulling teeth. I don’t think the kids really appreciated the full-picture of the prophecies and the Christmas story, because they were too disjointed. Each reading is short, which one would think would be good for time management, but it just ended up feeling unfinished each night. The kids didn’t identify with the colors of the candles either. It seemed like most times we would do the reading, light the candle, and blow it out - done! We had somewhere to be.

Another on and off tradition in our home is the Advent Calendar. On the Advent calendar we own, each day is a little book that is part of the Christmas Story that is then hung on the tree. Really cute. I loved it when the kids were little. We were also reading the Christmas account from the Bible, and we noticed that there were some inconsistent aspects of the Advent book stories. Nothing heretical, just made up parts of the stories and some things that didn’t line up with Scripture - like the Wise Men being at the manger simultaneously with the Shepherds, Mary and Joseph stopping at an oasis, etc. I know, no big deal. Anyway, my youngest resurrected the calendar this year and consistently asked to read the book each day...so at least for this year, that is a tradition again. It became a game, asking her whether what was in the booklet really happened that way in the Bible.

That brings me to another tradition, which is reading the Christmas account from the Bible during the kids devotion time in the weeks before Christmas. This is a keeper tradition. There are so many aspects of the Christmas story that I thought I knew and rediscovered reading with my kids. I love teaching my children some of the more obscure, yet still truly miraculous stories, of Jesus’ birth.   My favorite is Simeon and Anna in Luke 2:25-38. So interesting that they knew who He was. Like those fairytales, but it really happened and what they predicted, really did “come true”.

We always go to Christmas Eve Service at our church.

We have movie and book traditions too, if we have time for them. For about the last 4 years, we have read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud to our kids. I thought perhaps they had grown out of it, but this year the 18 year old home from college brought the book with her for Steve to read to the family. We sat around in the kitchen while he read it and no teenager got up with statements of better things to do. Granted it is a funny story, but also insightful and touching.   Another tradition was to watch It’s a Wonderful Life but we did not get to that one this year. This year we watched Elf.

As I was thinking through these things, I didn’t even think of our biggest and most significant tradition until I was faced with the late-nighters we pull to accomplish the task.   As we worked on them Steve said, “this is really a great tradition, thanks for thinking of this.” Glad he said that, because he does most of the work!


The Tardis Christmas Card for our Dr. Who fan. I think all the older kids would have liked to get this one.

Holiday Dinosaur for Tyler. Steve was just being goofy.

We make hand-drawn and written cards for our kids each year. The idea came from a Focus on the Family article about a mother whose teenage daughter and her were at odds. Amidst the conflict a statement of, “You don’t love me. You never loved me” came from the teenager. The mom later came to the daughter with a box of letters. Letters she wrote when the girl was a baby and later maybe, I can’t remember. At any rate, the letters were the “evidence” of the mother’s love for the daughter. It made me think, “do my kids know I love them? Do they have some evidence?” I tell them often, but I thought it would be really cool to give them letters each year. I think we were looking for something significant to give them, beyond just the material toy-thing that they wanted.

The first few years we just wrote them letters in a store-bought card, but at some point, we decided, “hey, we’re artists, we should make cards.” Steve definitely has the better style for this and the kids have so much as said so. The one year I drew the cards they said they liked Dad’s better. That’s okay, I do too and I don’t mind writing the letter part. The letter is usually an applicable scripture and then an encouragement looking back over the year, it takes quite a bit of thought and time.
The cards are really focused on the kids, but I think that they help them to see that there is a larger life-picture they should be considering, a spiritual perspective on things that have happened, and also, relationships to cherish beyond presents to open.

We just saw this polar bear baby and thought we HAD to do this one for Elise.

Robot Parents

2011-12-21T09:06:00.000-08:00

I know my last blog post was about asking for parenting advice. And I still stand by that encouragement. Just watch out for legalism, primarily your own. Let me explain.

I read a lot of parenting books when my kids were babies on up through the years. Some might consider some of the books and materials I followed as controversial, but I don’t think they really were. I think what made them controversial was legalistic robot-Christians. Following advice legalistically without using your own Biblical research, discernment, and common sense is foolish.

I will give myself as an example. When we were new parents we listened to tapes from popular Christian-parenting literature of the time, Growing Kids God’s Way and Preparation for Parenting by Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo.   The information was good. I think many of the principles would be wisely taken by many parents today (things like respect for people and property, gradually allowing independence in your child, etc.) The controversy came in their advice regarding scheduled feedings (and their own legalistic views regarding their own advice, “God’s Way”, and eventually apparently their own pride. Their material was particularly “cold” as well. )   Their advice for babies was to feed your child every 3 hours on a schedule. It made sense and it actually worked. Our first child slept through the night and ate on a schedule by 2 months old. The problem? She did not gain an ounce for a month (or was it two?). Now, I don’t blame the Ezzos or necessarily their materials. Even my pediatrician said, “well, she’s not hungry if she’s sleeping through the night.” I do think, though, that if I were more in tune with my child and less concerned about a schedule, her weight may have been normal for that time period. She’s 18 now, with no known eating disorders ; ).   Around that time, accusations started coming towards the Ezzos regarding parents with failure to thrive infants using their materials.

Really!? If your child is wasting away, you still follow a schedule? I’d like to think that I was at least smarter than that....maybe I wasn't. The advice wasn’t bad. In fact, the advice was good....in PRINCIPLE.

At any rate, my mistake caused me to come to the conclusion that most advice is just that, advice. With my subsequent children I did still follow Preparation for Parenting principles, but I was a little wiser. I made my own modifications (if you're interested in the details, I think I have them documented somewhere). This did work to gradually shift the “eat now” body clock to the day and the “sleep now” body clock to the night. It took a little longer with them, but they were still sleeping through the night by 12 weeks or so.....and happy and well-fed babies.

Another controversial book To Train Up a Child, was given to me when Aidan was about 3 years old (He’s now 16). Again, the Pearls book became controversial fairly recently when the book was found in the home of parents who abused and beat their child TO DEATH.

Really!? You beat your child supposedly based on someone’s advice so far as to kill him or her?   This is not even robot behavior.....they were most certainly NOT following the Pearls’ advice. I'm not sure if this is the parent's testimony or if it was just the media grasping for the “why” in the minds of abusive parents and finding the book in their home as a clue.

I saw the Pearls’ materials as a major milestone in my relationship with my children. People isolate and criticize their teaching on spanking, but what I really noticed in their newsletters and other materials was the relationship they had with their children. And the extremely convicting articles that they wrote to parents challenging them, not to beat their children, but to repent and change themselves and their own thinking. That “tying strings of fellowship” with your children was by far, the most important thing. I was really struck by the encouragement to invest in my children.   They didn’t say, “make your children do chores”. They said, “do chores with your children.” Their methodology advice is loaded with principles of relationship. I realized that my relationship with my children was not what it should be. I was selfishly just trying to manage them instead of investing in them, training them, enjoying them. I had my own behavior issues, specifically anger. The Pearls told me I was the problem (well, not personally). I never concluded that I had to discipline my children more, I concluded that I needed to realize that I had the power to change me and I should do so.

Their books also helped me to see practically and creatively, how I could train and discipline my children. After implementing their ideas AND changing myself, I realized that I hardly ever spanked my kids anymore. I didn’t see much change in my kids until I wasn’t such a pissy-parent any more! Now, my teens are a little resentful that their little sister is hardly ever spanked. Sorry, it took me a while to change kids...so sorry. Thankfully, they are laughing at me now, instead of hating me.

Those are only two of the many, many books that I read over the last 18 years, but definitely the ones I learned from the most.....for bad and for good. Here are a few others (and there were many more.)

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. A great principle book, as I said in my other blog post. He hits the nail on the head in that parenting is about the heart....but such a difficult thing to know how to implement, because it IS about the heart!

Say Goodbye to Whining Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in you and your kids! - by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. A book about teaching respect in the home, also focusing on family relationships. No corporal punishment mentioned (that I can remember.)

Making Children Mind without Losing Yours by Kevin Leman. A natural consequences book.

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp. Don’t remember much about this book.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. What it says.

Changing Your Child’s Heart by Steve Sherbondy. Using tools (chores and tasks, mainly) to change a child’s attitude.

For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhan. A poll of the insights and opinions of teenagers of all backgrounds. Very enlightening.

After all of this reading, I found (in some cases it was NOT included in the book!) the most essential element of parenting is relationship, relationship, relationship. Building relationships is difficult to teach. You can give specific ideas for the robot-parent to follow, but it comes down to a parent’s heart for their child and what they DO with that. Tedd Tripp’s book does teach about this and yet I could not apply it at the time I read it. I think my kids were too young; I could not see practically how to implement it. Maybe I need to re-read it. It was the stories of love and investment in the Pearl’s materials that made me see what I was missing, that convicted me, but I did read that when my kids were a little older.

I also found the biggest deterrent to a good relationship, parental hypocrisy. Find it and repent. I saw this in many articles and letters that the Pearls answered in their newsletters and also in the book Already Gone by Ken Ham. Interestingly, Ham’s conclusion as to why the church is losing children to the world was lack of teaching about origins, but the raw data in the back of the book, I thought, told a different story as to why kids leave the church - parental hypocrisy.

The early years were filled with training experiences and quite a few spankings (especially for the boys), but they were also (eventually) filled with an investment of time.....lots of time. Time spent in our own little stories that built our friendship. Yes, friendship.   Now, three of them are teens and our fellowship is sweet (okay, mostly we laugh....still sweet.)

One friend when praised for her older daughters’ faithfulness to the Lord, righteous living, good choices, etc always says, “Oh, they still struggle and face temptation. I pray for them every day.”   Another investment, perhaps more essential than all others.

My story is far from over. I cannot rest, but must continue to repent, invest, and pray.

Parenting: The Best Advice You Can Never Give

2011-12-16T08:10:00.000-08:00

You can’t really give parenting advice anymore. People get really offended. You can give broad principle-oriented advice, but you can’t say, “hey, you really should do this.” or “you know, he wouldn’t do that if you did this.”   There are a few people you can give parenting advice to, but you really need an invitation to do so. I have maybe 2 friends I can give parenting advice to freely.

I remember as a young parent asking “yes, but HOW?” to the Shepherding Your Child’s Heart principle stuff. (My apologies to Tedd Tripp, great book, but I’m a practical gal.) That lead me to To Train Up Your Child. Fortunately, I didn’t read any reviews beforehand! I didn’t know HOW to be consistent. I didn’t know HOW to address a lot of issues.

Truly there is a balance between principle-parenting and practical-parenting. (And I do think that the Pearls focus more on correcting PARENTS and addressing their relationship with their children than they do on spanking in their materials as a whole. I will take some time to review some parenting books in later blogposts.)  

People believe that parenting is a very subjective thing but really some aspects are very objective. They must be, because we all sit in judgment of other people’s parenting, don’t we? Or we sit in judgment of other people’s kids.

Proverbs 20:11 "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."

Truly, a kid’s character is easily discerned after spending some time with them.

You can deny that you judge other people’s parenting and kids....but you know you do. At least in your own thoughts: “That kid is such a brat!”, “Doesn’t she see that he has taken 10 things off the dessert tray!”, “Hey! I almost ran that kid over. Where are his parents?” You know, those thoughts.

To what extent is a child the product of his upbringing and to what extent is he/she who she is because of his/her innate soul, personality and character?

I am thinking about 50/50. That’s my guess: 50/50.

Even if I’m wrong on my ratio (which I probably am), why not take someone’s advice for addressing the 50 or whatever % that you are responsible for? It will increase your chances of being a better parent. Ask someone that you trust to be honest with you about your parenting.    We all see each other’s faults and are often blind to our own. It’s time to ask for advice and not become defensive, but be willing to look at ourselves and say, “hey, they’re right and I’m going to do something about it.”

There are many kinds of parents:

The Clueless Parent: The parent who is oblivious to their child’s behavior. Even if they are made aware of it, they still manage to miss most misbehavior issues.

The Hypocritical Parent: The parent who sees the issues and talks like a disciplinarian, but they never actually do anything to address their child’s behavior.

The Uptight Parent: The parent who sees a problem and blows it way out of proportion, making a good display for others and trashing their kid publicly in the process.

The Excuses Parent: He /she is __________.    This parent always has a crutch or label to blame for not parenting their child properly.

The Helpless Parent: The Parent who has no control and is distressed by the little tyrant they have allowed to rule over them.

The All-Around Parent: The parent who is light-hearted when appropriate and strict when necessary. The parent who knows their child and their child has a secure relationship with them.

I am assuming that all parents love their children! Even the worst parent will at least say they love their child. Discerning one’s own selfishness in loving a child, is another question altogether. What sacrifices are you willing to make in order to truly love and parent your child properly?

What kind of parent are you? There is no real science to my labels....I’m just thinking out loud, but I am sure you can identify other parents that fall into those categories, but can you identify yourself?

There is a wealth of parenting advice out there, but not all of it good, not all of it is right, and not all of it works. Whose children do you admire?   Whose parenting do you aspire to? What All-Around Parents do you know? Ask them to mentor you, advise you. Give them permission to point out your weaknesses.

There are parents whose parenting I did not respect and everyone could see the writing on the wall. Most of the time no one talked about it (that would be gossip), and no one said anything to them (that would be nosey), but we all knew. Sadly, what we saw coming, came to fruition. They were very proud. We could not say anything, anyone who did was rejected. These parents are humbled now, but at a great cost. They lost their child. They lost 100%. They lost their relationship with their child. You knew it was their fault. And I’m not just talking about permitting disobedience, I’m talking about parental hypocrisy and lack of love in child-rearing.

I will make a caveat here that some people may feel like they have lost their children, as Christians (I don’t mean that as a salvation label, but an outward-living label), because of some sinful decisions or lifestyle choices their children have made. But they still have their child 100%. How can that be? Because they truly have taken care of their 50% and so the relationship stands firm regardless of the difference of opinion or beliefs between parent and child. The child still trusts the parent, even if the child has been diverted in their 50%. (And there is still hope that they will be 100% for Christ at some point in their lives!)

Some people might read the above and say, “yes, that’s what happened to me!” Still, examine yourself closely, ask others if you are at fault....repent of your mistakes. Especially to your child.

As a young mother, I had three women I respected and trusted to give me parenting advice. They discipled me and often gave unsolicited advice. I trusted them because I watched them parent and I saw their kids grow up with character I admired. I saw them (parents and children) make mistakes and humbly accept advice from others that had gone ahead of them.

I’m not there yet, but I want to be that kind of parent. How about you? What kind of parent do you want to be?

What are you whining about?

2011-12-09T16:30:00.001-08:00

I've been reading through the Psalms, backwards, for my daily Bible reading....in my paper Bible at the table because God doesn't trust me to read on the computer. He knows I'll get distracted by some email or Facebook or something. I am reading through them backwards because I always start at Psalm 1 and then peter out in the 50s or something. So I decided to start at the end instead.

I am also reading to my 9 year old from Numbers, and now Deuteronomy because she, "wanted to start from the beginning." (We skipped most of Leviticus, I don't think you need to ask why.) I noticed the Israelites are complaining A LOT and God gets really mad. Made me think of how much I complain.

Numbers 14:1-12 (NIV)-
" ¹ That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. ² All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, “If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! ³ Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” ⁴ And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.”
⁵ Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. ⁶ Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes ⁷ and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. ⁸ If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. ⁹ Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them.”
¹⁰ But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the LORD appeared at the Tent of Meeting to all the Israelites. ¹¹ The LORD said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them? ¹² I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they.”
”

In my personal reading I am in Psalm 88. (All quotes of "the Psalmist" are from Psalm 88.)

³ For my soul is full of trouble
   and my life draws near the grave.^[c]
⁴ I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
   I am like a man without strength.
⁵ I am set apart with the dead,
   like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
   who are cut off from your care. ⁶ You have put me in the lowest pit,
   in the darkest depths.
⁷ Your wrath lies heavily upon me;
   you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.

It occurred to me that they are in similar situations, the Israelites and the Psalmist. Both feel like they are facing death. How come God doesn't get mad at the Psalmists, David or Korah, like He does with the Israelites for grumbling?

The Israelites question God's plan.
“If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! ³ Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” ⁴

The Psalmist recognizes that even if God himself is responsible for his circumstances, He is still the one to appeal to for a remedy. ² May my prayer come before you;
   turn your ear to my cry....
....."You have put me in the lowest pit".....
....."Your wrath lies heavily upon me"...."
.... I call to you, O LORD, every day;
   I spread out my hands to you.
...But I cry to you for help, O LORD;
   in the morning my prayer comes before you.

The Israelites don't believe God.
“How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?

The Psalmist believes that God is loving, he remembers His wondrous works, His faithfulness and righteous deeds.
¹ O LORD, the God who saves me,
   day and night I cry out before you.
Is your love declared in the grave,
   your faithfulness in Destruction^[d]?

¹⁰ Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
   or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

The Israelites complain and lay blame to men.
² All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron

The Psalmist complains to God.
¹ O LORD, the God who saves me,
   day and night I cry out before you.
² May my prayer come before you;
   turn your ear to my cry.

9 I call to you, O LORD, every day;
   I spread out my hands to you.

13 But I cry to you for help, O LORD;
   in the morning my prayer comes before you.

The Israelites seek their own solutions.
3 Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” ⁴ And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.”
¹⁰ But the whole assembly talked about stoning them.

The Psalmist reasons with God.
¹⁰ Do you show your wonders to the dead?
   Do those who are dead rise up and praise you?
                         Selah
¹¹ Is your love declared in the grave,
   your faithfulness in Destruction^[d]?
¹² Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
   or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

Can a dead man praise you, God? Now that's a logical argument.
(Interestingly, Moses reasons with God on behalf of the Israelites later in this same chapter of Numbers - 14:13-23.)

Honestly, how many of us are facing death? Even so, He is the God who saves.
O LORD, the God who saves me

How often do I question God's plan?

How often do I reveal unbelief?

How often do I complain to (or about) someone who has no power or remedy?

How often do I seek my own solutions?

I can complain to the One who is in control.

I can believe.

I can ask God for solutions.

I can reason with God.

Out of High School to Homeschool

2011-12-06T19:03:00.001-08:00

Okay, this blog post will be of almost no interest to most of you! Don't feel obligated to read it, it is purely for those for whom it was written!

I have recently received about 10 inquiries from parents wanting to pull their kids out of high school to homeschool them here in RI. After answering those emails, messages and phone calls, I started to feel like I was repeating myself. I am going to attempt to compile my advice here, to save myself some time.....not that I am not willing to give one-on-one advice, but there are some steps that will fit all situations. Be advised that I am not a lawyer and this does not constitute legal advice.

Some preliminary advice from other parents who have pulled their children out of school mid-year: Don’t discuss homeschooling with your child’s teacher or the administrators at your child’s school. This often changes the dynamic between teacher and student, or teacher and parent. It can also lead to misinformation.   It is very common for a secretary or principal to tell a parent that they cannot homeschool or that they must wait for approval, which simply is not true. Bring or mail your Letter of Intent (LOI) to the school department on your child’s last day of "school" and pick your child/teen up for the last time OR file your LOI with the school district beforehand, then carry the letter of approval and your child’s withdrawal form to school the same day.

Step 1. Check out the RIGHT website: www.rihomeschool.com under “New to Homeschooling” there is a sample Letter of Intent (LOI) and an article, Homeschooling in RI - 101. These links will give you the general expectations of any homeschooler starting out in RI. Also, consider joining a support group, surrounding yourself with like-minded homeschoolers and the resources and support that those organizations provide. I, of course, recommend RIGHT!

Step 2. Choose your curriculum.   Again, there are many curriculum suggestions under “New to Homeschooling” on our website. The curriculum choices can be overwhelming. It is worth the time to research and find out what you think might fit for you and your children.

At this point, you are more interested in meeting college admission requirements or preparing for future goals, than meeting State requirements (and most likely by meeting one, you will be meeting the other.) Homeschoolers are not required to meet state requirements for graduation, only to teach the required subjects “thoroughly and efficiently.”
If you are unsure of what your child needs to cover to have an adequate High School transcript and prepare him for acceptance into colleges, you might want to check out the HSLDA.org website and their “4 Year Plans” for high school. This chart tells you the expected course load if your child is, a) graduating, b) hoping to attend a mid-level college or c) hoping to attend an Ivy League college. If you go under “Navigation Menu” (top right) a list comes down with many choices, under “Get Answers” is “High School” where you will find those plans and many other resources that I will probably refer to later in this post.

Another thing to keep in mind when choosing curriculum for high school: find out what colleges expect of applying students. If your child knows the college(s) he intends to apply to, look online. Most colleges state what their expectations are of applying students. Do they need 3 sciences or just 2? Lab sciences? SAT II tests? Foreign language? How many years? You can find this information on most college websites. If you have no idea where you child might go to college, at least research your state college’s application expectations.

Some curriculum options:

Some curriculum can be costly! But consider these factors, your child’s education is worth an investment in quality curriculum, and most quality curriculums have a good re-sale value.

•You can buy a whole program from one company or buy an eclectic mix of different subject resources from different companies.   There are a few listed on the RIGHT website.
I personally find that one size does not fit all, but some people love their boxed curriculum.

•Is your child a Junior or Senior?

You might want to consider dual-enrollment at CCRI or a combination of Community College courses and homeschooling.

RIC is more expensive, but has welcomed homeschoolers as young as 11 as non-degree seeking students, without a superintendent's letter. After completing 20 hours of coursework, the student can switch to degree-seeking without submitting high school transcripts......contingent on SAT scores, though.

There are also online dual-enrollment college courses available through Collegeplus.org, PHC.edu, and many other colleges.

If your child can handle college-level work, it might be worth it to have them take some classes and get both High School and College Credit. Please note, there is no guarantee that courses will transfer as credits to your future college! You should check with that college. Even if you have no assurance they will be transferred, taking college-level courses in high school still looks good on a transcript even if your credits don’t transfer. (CCRI course credits and I believe, RIC credits, are transferable to URI.)

•Consider local co-ops or private classes. These may already be established if you are pulling your child out of school mid-year, but it is a consideration for the future. RIGHT has a few member-run co-ops in North Kingstown and Northeast CT. Also, there is a large tutorial "school" in Attleboro called Good Company Tutorials. If you become involved in a local group of homeschoolers, you could start your own co-op, sharing teaching duties with other committed parents.

•You are legally allowed to use the school’s textbooks.
http://www.rilin.state.ri.us/Statutes/TITLE16/16-23/16-23-2.HTM
These are usually available through the Curriculum Office at your local district administration office. You many choose any books that are available in the DOE textbook inventory listed here:
http://www.ride.ri.gov/ride/TextbookInventory.aspx
However, I am not sure if parents are allowed to borrow the Teachers’ Editions of the texts. Asking for the school’s texts is a good way to transition into homeschooling; using what your child has already been using until you find something better....which you most likely will.

Some curriculum is FREE! You can find a lot (all?) of your resources online!

•Khanacademy.org has teaching videos for every subject imaginable and even has online practice and teacher monitoring features for much of the math levels there (and adding more every day.)

•The local library! RIGHT has placed many resources in our local library to assist homeschoolers. Also the Exeter Library went beyond our small collection and started the “Learning Zone”, placing about $25,000 worth of educational books, games, and resources, in their library accessible throughout the state through library loan. The libraries also have online resources for foreign languages and SAT prep, among other things - all accessible free to library members.

Many people have stated their inability or lack of time for teaching certain subjects. I want to confess here, that I do not teach my high school-aged children; they teach themselves. I find the appropriate curriculum for their grade-level, interests, goals, etc. They follow the instructions and schedule I give them. I correct their work and tests. Some classes are outsourced. I have had friends/other parents/professors teach my children SAT prep, AP US History, Spanish, Writing, American Literature, and World Literature. Our math program is a DVD program (Teaching Textbooks and DIVE DVDs are popular choices among homeschoolers). I can teach math, but I discovered when our first child started Algebra, that teaching math was a lot of work and took me away from my other students that were at points in their education that required my presence. My oldest child could easily comprehend the math processes through the DVD teacher while I taught the younger children.

Step 3. Send a Letter of Intent (LOI) informing your school district that you will be homeschooling your children. Most School Committees have designated the Superintendent as the liaison between homeschoolers and the SC so, you should send your LOI registered mail to the Superintendent’s office of your school district.   Keep your registered-mail receipt because sometimes schools lose letters of intent. It’s good to have proof that they received it.

Many schools ask for a list of curriculum, check with RIGHT or your local chapter leader as to whether your town expects this.

Be advised that working papers for underage workers, and registration forms for CCRI classes must be signed by the Superintendent. You may have to talk to those secretaries again.

Step 4. If your paperwork is complete, you should receive your letter of “approval” from the School Committee. I always put approval in quotes.....they must approve your course of instruction, but they are not approving your right to homeschool! This could take a few weeks or even months depending on what other issues the School Committee is working on at the time.   You should begin homeschooling anyway.

Step 5. Keep good records. You are the guidance counselor for your high school student. Keep track of what classes they are taking, a general description of the class, textbooks used, and grade received. Also, keep track of volunteer work, extracurricular activities, etc.   Some of these can count as courses, but some might be more impressive as extras on your child’s transcript.   At the end of 4 years, you will compile your child’s transcript (including the records from any years and course work at the public high school) and issue them a diploma.   HSLDA.org has some great transcript forms, as does Donnayoung.org. You can simply enter your child’s information into the form or format you like. HSLDA.org and Homeschooldiplomas.com have some beautiful custom diplomas for purchase. Does that sound funny? You educated your child; you graduate your child.   I say the proof is in the pudding. Transcripts, test grades, SAT scores, and outside class grades should all verify your child’s transcript and diploma.

Step 6. When your child applies to colleges, you will be submitting the official transcript.   Most colleges now accept the Common Application. www.commonapp.org The Common Application has a homeschool supplement that asks questions about your student, why you homeschooled, how the student was graded, etc.

Some other things to keep in mind for college prep students. Your child should take the PSAT in the fall of his 10th grade and again in the fall of 11th grade. Your child should take the SAT (or ACT) in the Spring of his 11th grade and the fall of his 12th grade. You can register for the SAT and PSAT on the collegeboard.org website. FAFSA (Financial Aid Forms) should be filled out in January of your child’s 12th grade (if they are going on to college). The deadline is later, but funds are dispersed quickly so, the sooner you file the better. Even if you need to estimate your taxes and adjust the FAFSA later. You can apply for financial aid online at http://www.fafsa.com/

Step 7. What if your child doesn’t want to go to college or doesn’t have what it takes to get into college? Pray. Pray anyway, because whether your child goes on to college or learns a trade or lives in your basement, God’s the one who will give you and your child direction for his future. I’m counting on Him!

Maybe when I find out what my next two high school students have in their future, I will be able to advise people on #7!

Time Talk

2011-12-05T06:29:00.001-08:00

These past two weeks I have been reading Lysa Terkeurst's book "What Happens When Women Say 'Yes' to God".   One day God told me to "stay off the computer all day. Read the Word first and I will give you the time to do things I value and you value."

I have been trying to spend the first time of my day (well, early time, at least) reading the Bible.

Amidst all of this, I also felt like He was telling me to blog and paint more. I know that sounds self-serving, but I think He was telling me that my time could be better spent. Painting could potentially add to our family income. Blogging could also be of financial benefit, although I see that as a far off benefit. In the meantime, I would hope that it would be a blessing to people; that they might gain from the insights, experience, and.....mistakes of an average stay-at-home mother.

After the "time talk", I read the next chapter of Lisa's book, which was about "I can't". She shares a woman's struggle with confidence to be a speaker and she recognized her own "I can'ts", one being running. God told her to run. It made me think of the things that I really, really want to do - paint and blog, that I have been saying "I can't" to. Why can't I? I am not prioritizing my time. I am wasting my time.

This morning I read Psalm 90 - the first verses are all about the people being consumed by God's anger, their lowly estate, and the brevity of life.   How depressing. Then these encouraging words:

Psalm 90 (NKJV)
¹² So teach us to number our days,
         That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
¹³ Return, O LORD!
         How long?
         And have compassion on Your servants.
¹⁴ Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
         That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
¹⁵ Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
         The years in which we have seen evil.
¹⁶ Let Your work appear to Your servants,
         And Your glory to their children.
¹⁷ And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us,
         And establish the work of our hands for us;
         Yes, establish the work of our hands.

vs. 12 - Prioritize your time, AMY!

vs. 14 Be merciful now...that we might rejoice ALL of our days.

vs. 15 or that we would be glad, at least the same number of days that we have been afflicted or seen evil.

vs. 16 That we would see His work and our children would see His Glory.

vs. 17 That His beauty would be upon us now.

And that He would establish the work or our hands.

Blogging and painting?

Budgets and Trusting God

2011-09-28T11:23:00.000-07:00

About once a year, I get it in my head that we need a budget. I painstakingly figure everything out on paper. I get excited about how nicely it all works out there on the paper. I listen to the budgeting gurus and am inspired to make ends meet this year, to live within my means.

After a few months, things break down. Car repairs cost $500 and I have only $200 saved in that category. The septic needs pumping and the boiler needs cleaning. $400 when only $200 have been saved in the home maintenance category. We need to put more in that category.....from where? Every penny is budgeted.

Every year, I become more and more anxious about our finances and try to make it work, robbing from Peter’s category to pay Paul’s. In my flesh, I struggle and strive to make it work, but it never does. I just become more and more worried and anxious.

My conclusion, is this: we cannot trust in a budget, or even our own ability to provide. We need to trust God, regardless of our current income. Whether it exceeds our needs or falls short. When I struggle over a budget, am I showing lack of faith in God to provide for all my needs?

Now, I am not opposed to budgets per se. I think they are a tool of good stewardship. We have made a lot of changes in life because we have examined our spending in the course of making a budget. Switching to pay-as-you-go cell phones has probably saved us about $600 a year. Dropping cable: $900 a year. I am thankful that we discovered that, because now we can make one payment on our daughter’s college tuition (what we have pledged to contribute.) Perhaps there are more areas where we can cut.....certainly, cellphones aren’t a need at all, but an expectation in this day and age. Internet? Insurance? One must evaluate whether it is more or less cost effective to NOT have these things.

I think many Americans are profligate in their spending and what they decide is a necessity, really isn’t. Many people are foolish with their $ out of ignorance and end up in debt. People need some instruction in wise spending practices and priorities; needs vs. wants.

As for me, I have finally learned that God doesn’t want me to trust a budget, or become anxious over finances that are insufficient. He wants me to trust Him. I should be a good steward, but know that He always provides, even when the budget doesn’t.

Cookie off to College

2011-09-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

I wrote this article for the September 2011 issue of the RIGHT newsletter.

Cookie off to College

As you read this, I am probably taking my oldest child off to college. The first one out of the gate, homeschooled all the way through successfully, as far as I can tell.

This child fit the cookie-cutter for academic success. College prep courses all the way through high school, a few AP and CCRI courses thrown in to demonstrate that her intelligence went beyond her mother’s evaluation, did well on SATs, and received some decent scholarship money. With a little push from Dad, she finally decided what she wanted to do and off she goes into the world, well-prepared with worldview training and self-determined values.

Well, if you are new to this whole homeschooling thing and are thinking, “oh, great! What a relief! I have that cookie-cutter. I know that recipe. No problem, I can make these cookies too.”    Think again.

Different children, different ingredients. You MIGHT have the same recipe and similar ingredients, but no matter what recipe you follow, your cookies will not turn out the same.

My other children have different ingredients. Do I follow a different recipe?

As my cookie-cutter child entered her high school years and even before, I realized that she had her own ideas about what she wanted to do and in other ways she had no idea what she wanted to do. It was a fine balance between steering and supporting her activities and studies. Even now, as I look back at the recipe, I realize that the cookie isn’t exactly what I expected. This girl is going to school to become a photographer - academic recipe : artistic cookie. Who knew?

Now I am looking very carefully at my “leftover” ingredients! What will they make with what they have? Christian + gifted artist + pianist = ?, Christian + guitar-playing leader -type = ?, Christian + helpful + faithful = ?

In the end, we can only follow the recipe and as a true cook, allow the ingredients to add their own flavors that shine through.

Practically, I will encourage my sons and younger daughter to follow a similar recipe, but I am learning that children are not cookie-cutters and I may need to adjust my recipe based on the gifts and talents they have. I am learning from other homeschool parents a myriad of other recipes for still - successful cookies.

I am also learning that, in the end, I can’t take much credit for the cookies.

School Year’s Resolution

2011-09-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am posting two articles I wrote for the RIGHT newsletter, The Home Spun News. This was published in the August 2011 newsletter.

School Year’s Resolution

by Amy Brock

As I look ahead to starting a new school year, I can’t help but look back. This past year was both a success and a struggle.

I can’t help but look at how little was accomplished academically (in my opinion) by my two sons and youngest daughter this year. I know that it is partly (mostly?) my fault. I have this need to do things immediately, so the immediate becomes the urgent and the important is neglected. Ironically, this all has to do with time management which I am supposedly good at.   My gifts are great for coordinating a non-profit organization or running our church’s VBS, but unfortunately only one of my children, apparently, inherited my administration skills and so, 3/4 of them did not self-administrate this year.

I learned a lot about the importance of time management skills - for others.   I did set up a daily calendar and assignments and totally expected everyone to follow them. They did, in the beginning, but then as I went on to other tasks - errands, laundry, cooking ... Facebook (guilty), etc. their faithfulness waned. I realize now that time-management is 1) a learned skill and 2) a necessary habit. In order for my children to attain that skill and habit (except for the one who is naturally that way) I realize I have to sit with them and do nothing to make sure they are doing something!

This is my “School Year’s Resolution” to manage my children’s time and to teach them to manage their own time. As an artist with a real desire for my children to follow their interests, that seems counterintuitive, but looking back at the year, I feel I did them a disservice in not ingraining some time-management skills in them.

In more encouraging news, my oldest graduated from homeschool and is attending Rochester Institute of Technology this fall and my two sons each taught themselves to play piano and guitar.   I guess more was accomplished in the wreck of a year than I thought.

Garden Map

2011-05-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

Well, every year before I plant my garden, I make a map. It is not to scale or anything. It's just to show me roughly where I am going to plant everything. A friend asked me to post my map and so I am, but I think it needs some explanation....

I listed the veggies that I plan to plant. The spinach and lettuce are already in and growing, albeit slowly.

The area behind the shed (marked pumpkins and cukes, squash and zucchini) is almost all new. We took down a fence and extended it just this spring.

As you can see, I have two compost piles. I just combined about 10 of them scattered all over the garden. The one in the back is HUGE...almost all goat manure and hay waste. Instead of rotating compost, I let it pile up in one or several areas of the garden, and by the next season it is perfect soil and I spread it out. I had one pile in the back left corner and one at the edge of the current onion patch from last year, that I spread out for this spring.

The little "x"s are places where there are plants coming up volunteer. I think they are almost all pumpkins, although last year, some were cantelopes and they did really well. I will leave them where they are if they don't interfere too much (like the ones in the compost pile), others I will transplant probably to the pumpkin patch.....as that is usually what they are.

The "tomato garden" is actually a newer plot that I started last year. It's actual position is to the left of the larger garden, with a grass walkway about 8 feet wide, between the two gardens. I started that garden because there is a tomato wilt that is permanently in the soil of my shed garden (larger lower rectangle), although a few tomatoes that I stuck in there last year did fine. I was very meticulous about tending my tomatoes in both plots last year - I mulched around them (with goat hay) and bottom watered them, and that really helped to keep any wilty-type activity at bay. I did plant WAY too many plants though, and I couldn't even walk in there. The plants got way to big. So this year I will only plant around the edges and leave the middle completely clear. (Although, my gardening is generally crowded. All walkways are basically gone mid-July.)

Quilted Bag

2011-04-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I started making these quilted bags and now a few people have asked me to make one for them. I just finished one for a friend and took pictures of the steps, to hopefully, teach you how to make one too.

First, find / purchase 5 fabrics that you like - you will need about 1/2 yard each for this size bag. The size can be adjusted, as it is just a fabric box.

You will also need: 1/2 yard of another fabric for lining, nice thread in the color that you would like to show in the quilting, and regular batting for quilting.

BEFORE you start cutting, find something that is square, meaning, a perfect right angle. Ask your husband if you can borrow his square, he might know what you mean.....but make sure it's not all dirty or something. I just used a piece of card stock to make sure the starting corner was a right angle. Trim either side to make it straight - the finished edge is generally straight, so line up your square there and make the cut edge at a right angle to that.

Cut the fabric in to 3" squares (this will allow for 2" squares on your bag with 1/2" seam allowance everywhere. What is this 5/8" standard? That is like a math nightmare.)

Measure perfectly...or almost perfectly. If you are off, everything will be off in the end and the bag won't fit together right. Make a 3" grid on each piece and then cut the squares. I made about 20 - 24 squares of each at first, but then I needed more for the strap, so maybe 30 squares of each is good.

Your bag is like a cloth box 10" wide by 10" high by 4" deep. Once it is sewn together, each square will be 2" so your box will be 5 squares wide, 5 squares high, and 4 squares deep. Take your squares and lay out each "side" side of your "box" to make sure the patterns don't match at any point.

The front, back, and flap of the box will be 5 squares by 5 squares.

The sides and bottom of your box will be 5 squares by 2 squares.

Lay them all out and figure out where they will be attached:

I laid out the pattern and then had it continue across the sides as well. That way I knew the same colors wouldn't overlap. For the flap, I extended the pattern from the back upward in a mirror image.

You can see it here on the far left. That is the back and the flap. Then one side, the front and another side. At this point, I had totally forgotten about the bottom....oops.

Once you figure out your pattern, begin sewing your blocks together RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER with a 1/2" seam allowance. Keep the patterns set up and walk back and forth to get the pieces. Continually match up your pattern to make sure you are keeping it. You probably will mess up at least once. I have for each of the 4 bags I have made so far. Using the seam ripper is such a bummer. I should also say, back-stitch every time you end....all the time, with each quilted piece and on every seam you sew, you don't want the stitching to come undone, because once the bag is all together, it will be very tough to go back and sure-up any stitching.

You will end up with rows of blocks like the one I am holding above.

Press open all of your seams......always.

Now you will sew each of your 10" - 5 square rows together with a 1/2" seam allowance. RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER. Try to line up the blocks with each other and again, continue to check that you are lining up the pattern correctly. Remember to back-stitch at each end and iron open all seams as you are sewing.

So, here it is again. Once you have sewn together the back, flap, front and sides, you should have a bunch of panels kind of like the above, but you, of course, remembered the bottom. So you have one more horizontal block that is 5 blocks by 2 blocks.

Like this:

Sew together all of your panels, RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER, where they meet as in the drawn pattern above. Again, remember to back-stitch at each end.

Lay out your pieced together bag (but, you of course, have included the bottom, not pictured above) on top of the batting. Cut the batting flush with the fabric like below. If your batting is in pieces, that is fine, it doesn't need to be all in one piece. Just pin it in place so it stays in place while you are doing the quilting (shown further below).

Now, you are going to quilt your bag by top-stitching diagonally across the boxes.

My friend wanted an outside pocket, so I made another panel that matched the pattern where it would be sewn on. I cut a piece of lining, sewed the panel and the lining RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER with a little opening at the top to turn it right side out. I turned it right side out, top-stitched it (like a neat little empty pillow) and then sewed it directly in place about 1/8" from the edge on three sides, leaving the top open. Like this:

You can see the top-stitched quilting pretty well in that picture too.

Next cut your lining like you did the batting. If your piece of fabric isn't big enough to lay out the whole thing, you may have to piece it.

Do NOT sew the lining to the quilted piece! It's not time for that yet.

My friend wanted an inside pocket, so I made a little pillow out of lining, turned it right side out and sewed it to the lining in place. This lining was kind of unraveling, so I edge stitched all the edges. You know how you sometimes get a hole in your coat pocket or purse? It's because the fabric has come unraveled, more often than not. Hopefully this one won't.

Next you are going to sew your lining together with RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER, like a little lining box. Again, remember to back-stitch at each end.

It is easier to see how to do it with the quilted piece. Which you will also sew into a little inside-out box (with the flap hanging out of the top).

The lining and the quilted pieces are sewn separately. Back with flap, side, front, and side wrapped around the bottom piece and sewn with a 1/2" seam allowance.

Next, you are going to turn your lining right side out and slip it into your inside-out quilted bag. So they will be right sides together.

You will now sew them together with 1/2" seam allowance, around the edges of the flap and ALMOST all around the top edge of the bag, leave about a 4 - 5 " opening to turn your bag right-side out. I left just one side top open. Again, remember to back-stitch at each end.

Pull everything carefully out through the hole.

So, now you should have a lining bag inside a bag, with a lined flap too and a small opening on the side. Iron the flap and the edges flat. You can stick scissors or something pointy (not too) up into the corners of the flap to make the corners neat. You can also cut a piece of foam or other firm (preferably water resistant) flat piece to put on the bottom. Slip it through the hole and push it to the bottom between the lining and the bag. Now you can top-stitch the hole closed. Just fold over the edges (1/2") and top stitch about 1/8" from the edge.

Now for the strap. Measure how long you would want it. Remember each square will be about 2" so for a 40" strap, you will need it to be 20 squares long. You will want it to be 2 squares wide so that is a total of 40 squares. (I think made 42 here.) Two sections of squares will be attached to the bag at each side.

Sew the squares together as you did for the bag sections.

Once they are all sewn together, lay down batting along one side and stitch across it to hold it in place. (This will make 1/2 of the diagonal quilting pattern.) Next fold the whole strip in half RIGHT SIDES TOGETHER and sew them together with 1/2" seam allowance along one side. It's easiest to sew on the side with no batting. Now you have to turn this thing right side out. It's not easy, just persevere with it! Sometimes a plastic ruler is helpful to work it over. Some times kids with small fingers enjoy the job. ............... .............. .......... ................... .............................. .................. .................. .................. .................. ..................

What took you so long? Now iron your strap flat and neat. Top stitch the quilting in the opposite direction now. If you want full quilting on both sides, you can restitch on top of the other stitching. Tuck the edges under 1/2" and top-stitch them closed.

Now, put one end on the middle of each side of the bag, lining it up with the middle of the two squares that meet. Top-stitch it neatly in place. I did a box shape about 1/8" inside the edge of the square and then an x across it.

Now your bag is complete!

Another Bug

2010-08-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, is it me, or does it seem like there are new or at least "never an issue before" bugs out this year? I now have these black beetles on my tomatoes called Blister Beetles. If they come in contact with human skin they exude a chemical that can cause blisters - nice! I think I actually squashed a few with my fingers.....I'm okay so far, but they are chowing down on my tomatoes. The plants are doing fabulously and I have kept the tomato hornworms at bay. I guess, once again, Sevin is a good solution for the beetles, but I was really hoping not to spray my tomatoes with anything. I think I will keep picking them off (with gloves) for now.

My tomato crop is really starting to come in. I have made a couple of batches of tomato sauce and am working on another now. I also decided to make large batches of fresh salsa and freeze half. I am hoping for salsa and sauce for the whole winter. When they really start coming in, I will get out my pressure canner.

I harvested my edamame completely today. I think I will freeze it in small bags. I'm the only one who eats it and it is very filling. I yanked up the plants and fed them to my goats. Then I planted my fall crop of lettuce and spinach. I am also trying cucumbers - again. I have lost every batch to wilt so I keep trying a new location. I know it is those dang cucumber beetles and the lovely, vine borer.

Infant Potty Training

2010-07-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know this is a random topic for me. Every once in a while I will mention it to someone with a young baby, but folks rarely stick around for the explanation. When you mention that you potty trained your baby at 4 mos old, they nod, "really? that's great." but they don't believe you. I read an article about infant potty training with my 2nd and 3rd children, but the methods just seemed really impossible to me. (The articles I read had you starting with newborns, using cloth diapers, wearing the baby, and making a sound when you felt the diaper getting wet....ew.) With child #4, I finally gave it a try, with my own modifications, and it worked. I think you might find my methods acceptable.

Infant potty training can be started when the baby has good head control and semi-solid bowel movements (bm), usually after starting some solids at about 3-4 mos old. When you see that your baby is having a bm (straining, squirming, etc.) quickly take off the baby’s diaper and put him on the potty to finish. Usually the baby will also pee at this time. Start making a noise to identify with that body function - “psss”, “pee, pee”, etc. Whenever the baby pees in the potty, make that noise or say those words repeatedly. Within a week or two, the baby will associate that noise with peeing and will pee whenever you put them on the potty and make that noise. Since you can identify a bm by their body movements, noises, and facial expressions, you don’t need a noise for that function. Put the baby on the potty whenever they have a bm and several other times a day during transitions, such as when they wake up, before going out, before they take a nap, or when you put on their pajamas.

Infant potty training cuts back on the use of diapers because the baby is doing most of their elimination in the potty and is potty trained much younger than most children.

My daughter was almost completely dry during the day at about 6 months old. She was completely potty trained by about 10 months old, meaning that she could wear underpants during the day and communicate to me that she needed to use the potty. She was dry through the night at about a year. There was no transition from diapers to potty training, and no control conflicts over potty training (which I endured with my three older children.) Going to the bathroom on the potty was a natural thing for her and once she had complete control developmentally, that is where she was accustomed to going.

People think it is a hassle to interrupt what they are doing to take off a baby's diaper to take them to the potty. I think it is more of a hassle to change a stinky toddler than it is to hold a baby over a toilet while they go IN it. Maybe you can change them at your convenience, but it's not really convenient at that point! At some point, you are going to have to interrupt what you are doing (maybe for days, even months....) to undiaper-train your toddler. I am telling you, this is much much easier and you will be shocked at how quickly they "get it".

Thank you for your attention. I finally got to tell my potty story. I would really like to hear if others actually follow through with this.

Lasagna Gardening

2010-07-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere about "lasagna" gardening and so I started one in March. I didn't follow all of the specific layering that is outlined in the book, but just used the general principles.

In lasagna gardening, a layer of newspaper or cardboard is laid down directly on top of the sod. I used chicken feed bags (don't use goat feed bags, they have a layer of plastic - which doesn't decompose as quickly and may be hard for plants to get through.) The bags/cardboard/newspaper kill the sod, removing the necessity to turn over a new plot by digging through thick grass.

On top of the feed bags I put any and all compost that I could find in my yard. In my case, I have really good stuff readily available. I mucked out the goat shed and put that on there. I found the place where my daughter dumped her chicken house manure and put that on there. I hauled over piles of leaves from my grandmother's yard. Rabbit poo from under the hutch. I guess I was supposed to add peat moss and maybe some soil, but I figured there was plenty of regular dirt under the bags and that the plants would reach it eventually. I refuse to pay money for dirt and poo! That being said, manure sure makes the difference in plant growth and production, so if you have to buy it, so be it.

So, I took a picture of another lasagna garden I am starting next to my old garden. It doesn't look like much and that is kind of my point. It's real ugly, so if you are planning some shindig or something, make sure you put it somewhere discreet.

See, it's just a pile of lumpy hay, poo mess. I wish I had taken a picture of the first one I did. Below is the finished one complete with my lovely tomatoes (and my daughter for scale). It was just a lumpy rectangle in the middle of my yard. Then we decided to host my in-laws 50th anniversary party......it was planted and fenced in one weekend.

Ideally the lasagna garden should be started in Fall, giving it time to all compost down for the next growing season. I started this one in March and it was significantly-composted down by the end of May. I did turn it over and made a smaller compost pile within the garden with the stuff that wasn't quite ready yet (hardened chicken poo). None of my composting components are extremely acidic so that they would burn my plants. This is the best I have ever seen my tomatoes and it was the easiest garden to start.

Garden Critter Battles

2010-07-17T18:01:00.000-07:00

I am quite fond of gardening. I am doing battle with a number of critters right now. My husband suggested that I keep a gardening log to keep track of some of the things I've been discovered. I thought a little sketch book would be cool, but decided I can type faster. I included links to the pictures for this particular blog entry in case you would like a visual reference (but I didn't include the picture ON the blog in case you are eating lunch.)

This year it's a double assault. It started with the Mexican Bean Beetle which my Victory Garden book defines mistakenly as a Cucumber Beetle. The fuzzy yellow larvae are really decimating my pumpkin and squash plants....or so I thought. As I plucked off these quite easily I noticed little troops of gray aphid-like bugs on the plants. They didn't appear to be eating anything, but lo and behold, they are called Squash bugs and can cause wilt in pumpkins and squash like the Cucumber Beetle does to cucumbers! Frustrated that I was going to lose everything, I sprayed with Sevin this evening. I have done quite a bit of research on Sevin and it seems to be very safe....for humans. My only concern is for the bees. The packaging suggests using it at dusk to avoid harming bees.

Another critter is the Tomato Horn Worm, lovely fellow. In the past planting Borage with my tomatoes has kept them at bay. This year my tomatoes are growing so rapidly that the Borage can barely reach the sunlight! There are a few peeking through between the tomatoes, but I guess not enough to keep away all of the THW like in the past. The THW are masters of camouflage. Although my children managed to find two of them in about 30 seconds, while I was out there for 20 minutes looking. I knew they were there, but for the life of me I couldn't see them. The evidence: munched leaves and tiny barrel-shaped poops. I don't know why I am so grossed out by them. They are basically pure tomato.

Well, that is my critter story. It's a different one almost every year. Last year was tomato wilt, the year before was the Cucumber Beetle. I have seen Japanese Beetles this year as well - I should probably look up their dastardly effects as well, but so far they are not doing too much damage...that I can see.

Our Trip in Sketches

2009-09-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

I mentioned that I did some sketches on our trip. I didn't bring my larger sketchbook with me because I thought, "it's too big. Who am I kidding? I'll never use it." I found a little Moleskine (a sketchbook) in a bookstore at Lake Powell and thought, "this will fit in my back pocket." So, I bought it.

Lake Powell

Some flowers that were growing between the rocks at the lake.

The kids jumping off the rocks at Lake Powell (this probably isn't to scale, the person should probably be smaller!)

These were mules at the Kaibab Trail (North Rim of the Grand Canyon). Steve took the older kids hiking down the trail, but he didn't want to carry Elise back up, so she and I hung out with the mules.

More mules

There had been a fire in the Kaibab Forest. Miles and miles of burnt trees. Some white and some black.

As we traveled to Zion, there were these "Vermillion Cliffs". Very deep red. Wish I could capture their grandeur and color.

When we got to Zion we got out at a shuttle stop and hiked down to the river. This is what I was drawing when I stood next to Aidan in the "Our Trip in Pictures" post.

Steve took the older kids hiking in the Narrows this day and I spent the day with Elise. We hiked to the Emerald Pools. This is the middle pool. The cliff is the opposite cliff face and just beyond the pool is a sheer drop. If it was spring the pool would have flowed over and been a waterfall.

This is a dragonfly a little girl found and gave to Elise. Elise asked me to draw it. I was going to press it between my book but thought better of it (see the smudge?) Oh, it was already dead. Elise wanted to carry it back to camp to show Steve but it blew apart on the shuttle! She said, "oh, that's okay, we have your drawing."

When we got back to camp, Steve and the kids weren't back yet, but our friends were. So we walked to the river to play in it for a while (we thought it might clean the kids up a little - no showers in Zion! HA! Boy were we wrong!) Elise wasn't still enough, but I managed to get some scribbles down of my friend's boys.

I drew the opposite cliff face while the kids played.

The tunnel at Zion was one lane, so I drew this cliff while we waited our turn. The Red cliff stood in stark contrast to the gray/white cliff behind it. If I had more time I may have put some color into the back rock, but it kind of captures the striking differences in rock.

After we left Zion, we went to Bryce. The rock formations there are funky "hoodoos".

More hoodoos.

The ravens were bold.....but they wouldn't stay still for a portrait.

This is called Powell Point. I only had a few minutes to sketch this. Everyone else hopped out of the car, snapped a few pictures and said, "okay, let's go!"

These last pictures I did in the car as we traveled away from Bryce and the terrain kept changing. There were just mountains and then beyond that there was another range and another.

As we went through the mountains there were stands and stands of aspens. They looked like stripes going up the mountains. We weren't still enough to capture it. Even the kids didn't really get a good picture of it.

Even in one view there is variation in the terrain. The foreground was like sand mountains, then a layer of rubble with a giant rock formation, then mountains..and mountains.

Then flat, with a rock, that got bigger and bigger as you approached it.

As we passed through Capitol reef, the formations were again, layers of different texture. Almost hoodoos then sand, then rubble, then mountain.

That's all she wrote (sketched).

I may try to recapture the first part of our trip from pictures and draw in the last 1/4 or so left of my sketchbook....but who knows when I will have time to do that.

Our Trip in Pictures

2009-09-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it took me forever to upload these pictures. So I am going to start by praying that Blogger doesn't crash on me........amen.

Well, by now you have the overview of our trip,

so I will just try to keep this to narration of the pictures taken by my husband.

If you get bored, just scroll ahead.....isn't that neat?

Not like Grandad's video of his and Grandma's roadtrip.

We flew in to Denver, but then immediately drove to Colorado Springs the next morning and went to "Garden of the Gods".

If you look very carefully,

you can see two rock climbers climbing up this knife-edge rock formation.

The kids climbed high enough for a picture.

Next, we drove across CO heading towards Mesa Verde.

I wanted a picture of the expansive vista.

Really, photography can't capture it.

We decided to make a side-stop at Black Canyon of the Gunnison

before going to our hotel in Montrose (a nice little Days Inn run by Sarah Palin).

Good thing. It was Tyler's favorite place.

Most of the other Canyons are bigger but the Black Canyon is DEEP.

The straight drops really emphasize the depth of this canyon.

This is looking across to the other side.

It is amazing that people would farm the tops of these Mesas

(My husband says it's not a Mesa, well, mountaintop.)

Looking out over the tops of the Mesas made me think that it was an entire other civilization. There is such a cavernous (literally) divide between the valley and the top.

Here is Avanell ushering Elise away from the edge,

it was too nerve-wracking, even with the guard rail.

When we arrived at our campsite at Mesa Verde,

I had to make dinner, of course.

Pizza:

drizzle oil in pan,

place tortilla in frypan,

cover with sauce, cheese and pepperoni.

Serve.

The next day we did tours of several of the cliff dwellings.

We decided that this heavy-set ranger was chosen for Balcony House because it was one of the most difficult to get to and if he could get to it, you sure could.

You had to climb very steep stairs

and crawl through very narrow openings

to get to the dwelling

designed to be virtually unreachable.

Here we are in front of another dwelling called Cliff Palace.

There are hundreds of cliff dwellings in the park and only a few are accessible to tours.

We saw lots of wildlife.

These mule deer bucks were grazing together by the parking lot in Mesa Verde.

And this coyote was looking for a handout IN the parking lot.

We stopped to take his picture and he trotted after the car.

Tyler caught a lizard in Zion.

We saw a herd of bison. I think this was on our trip out of Zion.

Brazen ravens in Bryce

and chipmunks (We did not feed him.

You are not supposed to. This man was just being stupid.)

Tyler tried to make friends.

Elise's favorite was the Stellar's Jay in all the forests.

One was in our Mesa Verde campsite the first morning.

He was loud and unafraid of us.

Steve got a pic of the Kaibab Squirrel.

This squirrel only lives in the Kaibab Forest at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

He said if he had known it was rare to see, he would have tried to get a better picture.

On our way to Lake Powell, we passed through Monument Valley.

We arrived at Lake Powell and drove around the area.

(That is Elise, I think in this little cove.)

The Lake was created by damming the Colorado River, a very deep and awesome lake.

The kids jumped off the cliffs (from a legal height, of course.)

I jumped too.

But mostly I drew.....(will post some sketches later)

and kept an eye on Elise.

Here she is making her way over to Steve and the other kids with me following her.

It looks more treacherous than it was!

Here are brothers in front of the lake (I think this is Lake Powell).

A scenic overlook on way out of the Lake Powell area.

The boys were too close to the edge here.

The kids actually got along pretty well.

Here are the boys being Sports' Announcers commenting on Avanell's jump off the cliff.

The commentary was hilarious.

Wish I could remember it.

Brother and sister stood on the precipice without pushing.

I wasn't here for this, but Steve tells me they were uncomfortably close to the edge

(this was in Grand Canyon).

They even joined in some goofiness together.

And carried a tired sister.

But don't think they're perfect. There was the usual sibling jibes and tiffs.

Elise pitched one when she had to sit in the far-back seat

(after being in the middle seat for over half of the trip.)

She marched to the edge of the parking lot at one scenic overlook and pouted.

She was cute. Poor thing. We laughed.

Next stop, North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

Here are the kids outside the lodge.

A short hike from the lodge

to a precipice that overlooks the canyon. I love this picture.

You can see the rain falling on the far off mountains and we could see the lightning too!

We drove to another trail in the park.

We were all a little nervous here as Steve made us pose for this picture on the edge.

At least Elise is sitting down. We kept wanting to look behind us.

Then we hiked in to another location to take pictures of the sunset.

We stood there for an hour or so with some other couples and individuals

(that we didn't know) waiting for the sunset. It was really fun.

After that we drove to Zion National Park. I think Zion was my favorite.

I have less pictures of Zion because Steve did not take his camera

on a trip through the Narrows which took up a whole day.

I do have quite a few sketches though.

Above is a picture of the "Great White Throne" taken from the "Virgin River".

The contrast between the different rock formations and colors in Zion were beautiful.

Here is some mother/son bonding caught on film.

Aidan and I are both drawing in our sketchbooks.

Here's a few of Avanell's pictures in the Narrows.

That's Steve in the foreground.

and the boys.

After Zion was Bryce, not too far away but a dramatically different landscape.

Hoodoos.

Repetitive forms all over the place.

They are formed by water freezing and melting in the rock over and over again.

It is very cool at night in Bryce.

The temperature dips below freezing over 200 days a year.

It is desert though and so, it gets pretty hot in the day.....

I guess that can really stress a rock into doing funky things.

The kids found a side cave to hang out in.

The hike out of the canyon was brutally steep, especially at 8,000 feet.

Funny, though, Elise did not complain at all. She was a real trooper.

Here is Steve and I in Bryce. Did I mention this was our 20th Anniversary trip?

After Bryce we hightailed it to Denver, but the terrain got more and more interesting!

Change after change! but you will have to wait for my sketches!

For now, a parting photo.

We saw a real cowboy herding cattle across the road.

He was wearing a baseball cap. Steve said he was "all cattle and no hat."

On Our Way Home

2009-09-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, we have covered much terrain since I last posted.

We did go cliff jumping in Lake Powell. The kids had great fun, but it was really a one-day affair. We really wished we could get on a boat, but it would have cost as much as our plane tickets in to Denver!

After we left Lake Powell, we traveled on to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. The North Rim is very different than the South Rim with Alpine Forest along its perimeter. The Kaibab Forest was just beautiful. We watched the sunset over the Canyon (and took pics, of course) and then hustled back to our campsite in the dark through twisty hairpin roads.

After only one night at the North Rim, we went onward to Zion National Park. Interestingly, we met our friends, the Lees, from Beverly, MA! It wasn't a complete coincidence, but we had independently planned our vacations and they happened to overlap at Zion for two days. Our campsites just happened to be across from each other!

A total God thing that happened, when we arrived at the North Rim we discovered that we had double-booked Zion for the same night and neglected to book a campsite at Zion for Monday! We were really panicking about where we would be spending Monday night.....Labor Day. As of Saturday, with a call from the North Rim to Zion, they had nothing available. On the way to Zion, we prayed in the car that we would be able to get a site in the same campground we were staying in. When we arrived at the check-in, we asked if they had space available on Monday and they said, "yes, we do." We asked if it was possible to get the same site we had reserved and they said, "no, but we can give you D30" - right across from the site we were in and right next to our friends! We were praising God all day. Whew!

Zion was just gorgeous. We took the shuttle through the park when we arrived that afternoon. All of the cliffs are named after Biblical stories/people - well, almost all of them. There is an etching on one cliff face that looks like Darth Vader. The park was named Zion by a Mormon and most of the cliffs were named by a Methodist Minister and a guide that made a game out of naming them. Much more creative than I would be. "Angels Landing", "The Three Patriarchs - Abraham, Isaac and Jacob", "The Great White Throne", and "Altar of Sacrifice" (a white sandstone with red streaked down it.)

We hiked down the river walk (The river was called the Virgin River.) This was a mile hike through vast canyons with hanging plants that get water from the water dripping through the sandstone and hitting shale. It was like a tropical garden amidst huge desert cliffs. The canyon was hot in the day, but cooler as you get deeper in along the river. It is very windy at night. I am not sure the technical reason, but I believe the hot air of the canyon rises at night and the cool air rushes in creating incredibly windy nights.

The second day at Zion, Steve took the 3 older kids into the Narrows. The Narrows is beyond the River Walk. You get into the river and hike the canyon. Hikers follow the river up through narrow openings in the canyon. They hiked in until the water was over their heads and then turned back. I guess it was pretty awesome! Our 7 year old and I took the shuttle again and I just kept a slow pace with her. We stopped at the museum and watched the movie and then we hiked the Emerald Pools, the lower and middle pools. It was still a pretty long hike for a 7 year old, but she did well. I stopped at the middle pool and did a sketch there. I will blog again once I get my sketches scanned in and narrate through them.

We then went to Bryce Canyon National Park. Bryce was different yet again. The rock formations there are called "hoodoos". We hiked a few loops through the hoodoos and of course, took a million pictures and I drew sketches. No one has downloaded their photos yet, so I will add them in later.... then you can get the idea of what a hoodoo is.

We decided that our "reviews" of the National Park campground facilities we have been in on this trip are:

Mesa Verde rates the best for facilities. Nice sites, convenient bathrooms, and FREE hot showers. Each shower had their own little room with plenty of space to change. The water tasted terrible though and was a little away from the sites.

Zion had the worst facilities. It was probably my favorite place in our entire trip, but the facilities were non-existent. There were no showers there which really made you kind of feel yucky after a few days, especially after some of the strenuous hikes and the hot weather. Water was a short walk from the sites and there was not a convenient way to even wash dishes. They wanted you to carry the water back to your site, wash there and then dump the water back where you got it. Other places had a campsink.

North Rim had showers and laundry, reasonably priced, but their check out was 10AM (as opposed to everyone else's 11AM checkout). We had no time to partake of their facilities because we had to hustle to pack up camping gear for six people before 10AM. Water was conveniently located to the sites. They had a really nice Campstore there.

Bryce had decent facilities. At the Campstore they had showers and laundry. The maintenance of the showers was wanting though.... they could have been cleaner and better maintained. Water and a campsink was conveniently located to most of the campsites. Of course, we deliberately chose a site close to it.

This morning we packed up at Bryce and drove all day. What an incredible drive! I thought that the drive out through the Rockies was incredible, this was just like nothing I had ever seen before. Even after seeing Bryce, which was bizarre. The terrain changed around every bend. Changes in color and texture. Sand and rock and mountain. Level upon level. It was just amazing. We took the scenic highway 12 through Capitol Reef and the scenes continued to change long after we left that park.

We are now staying in a hotel. A nice break from camping, but it has its own difficulties. It's hard to cook a meal. We ate out, again. I am happy to be in nice bed and to not have to undo my "house" in the morning!

We are in the home stretch now! It will be good to be back home, but I am not looking forward to the rude awakening of life waiting for me there!

From Mountains to Desert

2009-09-04T08:34:00.001-07:00

At the Continental Divide

I left you all in Montrose.

I am now writing from Page, AZ! We are here to see Lake Powell. The Colorado River was dammed here in the 1950 somethings to create the Lake out of the vast Glen Canyon. The Lake is just amazing. We are planning to go swimming and do some minor cliff jumping in it tomorrow. I guess it's legal as long as the jumps are less than 15 ft. I will stay with Elise in the shallow areas - thank you!

The three girls in front of the landscape

We spent the last two days in Mesa Verde seeing the cliff dwellings there. So much history and mystery there. After listening to 3 different rangers give talks on the people that lived in the cliffs and farmed the Mesas there, we listened to a 4th on our last night and got a whole different perspective. Archeology is a lot of guesswork I discovered, with as many different theories as creation! I did however see some amazing accuracy demonstrated in their dating practices. They used tree-ring dating to date the cliff dwellings - marking most of them in the 1200s.

The family in Cliff Palace

The dwellings were amazing to see and challenging to get to. Up and down ladders, etc. These were built at great heights! Fortunately, the entrances are now structured so as to allow somewhat safe passage for tourists. Still, there are signs warning those of ill-health not to attempt!

Cliff Palace

We camped at the Mesa Verde campground for those two days and it was a very nice campground. Free showers with privacy and the water was nice and hot. I like staying in hotels but it makes food preparation difficult, especially for dinner.

I bought a little Moleskine sketchbook at the little bookstore here at the Lake Powell dam visitor's center. I wish I had bought it sooner. I hope that I have enough time out of the car to do some sketches along the way.

After these two days we head into 3 national parks and will most likely not have internet access. Will try to report on Grand Canyon, Zion Canyon and Bryce Canyon in a week or so!

Approaching Monument Valley

Catching My Breath at the Continental Divide

2009-08-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

We're here!

Our plane landed after a little turbulence in Denver. We hightailed it to our hotel room to get some sleep. I am not sure that anyone got much, even though it was a nice hotel (Courtyard Marriot.)

On Sunday we drove down to Colorado Springs and saw "Garden of the Gods". We wanted to go up Pike's Peak but when we got to the entrance it had started raining. We asked the ranger, "is it worth it to go up?" We hadn't been able to see the mountain all day because of the cloud cover. She shook her head, no, and said that it was snowing and hailing at the top and she wasn't sure that we would be able to make it up there.

We drove to our next destination which was Salida in preparation for our White Water Rafting trip. The hotel there was "ok." Clean but older.

We got up early and went on our rafting trip! The river is very low right now so the rapids were tame, but it was fun to do.

After our rafting trip we drove to Montrose and on our way we crossed the Continental Divide!

Driving was hair raising with hairpin turns and cliffs on both sides. I will add pictures later. As it is I am competing for computer time with my family who wants to download all their pictures.

We also stopped at the Black Canyon of the Gunnison before going to our hotel. AMAZING! Sheer cliffs down to the Gunnison River. Like nothing we have ever seen before. We suddenly became afraid of heights.

The kids described the landscape approaching the Rocky Mountains as, "everything is so big." The sky is big, the land stretches on forever, and mountains beyond mountains. There are cows grazing everywhere, miles from any building that we can see. They look so vulnerable.

I realize that we have such a puny understanding of how vast this land is.

We have an amazing Creator. I look forward to being awe-struck some more!

Countdown to Colorado and West

2009-08-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

Here we are coming down to the wire. Preparing to fly and camp has been quite the undertaking.

We have our camping equipment packed into large duffle bags, all within Southwest baggage specifications, of course. We measured and weighed our biggest and heaviest bags and we should meet all requirements! (Pray, pray!)

With the help of some Space Bags, I managed to fit 3 sleeping bags and other stuff into one duffle bag. These things are amazing. The only problem is finding a vacuum cleaner on the other end. I got the kind that you can roll to squeeze out the air, which is sufficient, but vacuuming is so much better.

Going back to my previous post, I will review my solutions:

#1 was the sleeping mat fail. We just decided to bring the 3 air mattresses and our plug in blower. They actually aren't that much bigger than the self-inflating mats, only heavier, but we don't really have to hike with them or anything.

#2 was partial pillow fail. We are going to bring some regular pillows, I will probably just Space Bag them and they won't take up much room.

#3 was coffee fail. I bought a camping coffee press. We used to drink French press coffee all the time, but our press is glass. I made a sample cup and we are good for a nice cup of Jo in the mornings.

#4 was lighting fail. I purchase a Coleman mini-lantern and it seems good. We also have several new flashlights and a headlamp.

#5 was fire fail. I fit the two burner Coleman stove in the luggage! We will still have a fire for fun and warmth, but we are not depending on it to cook.

I said that I was going to work out a menu for each day, but now I realize that is unrealistic. I have tried to figure out what we can have depending on where we are. In hotels we will have a microwave and refrigerator. I personally hate cooking in a microwave. My husband's solution: eat out, order large and microwave the leftovers for our next meal.

I did find some items that are camping friendly :

•milk – yes, those little cartons are shelf stable.

•”Mini-moos” - these are those tiny creamers you see next to the public coffee and ask, “shouldn't this be refrigerated? Will I find cheese when I open it?”

•Trail Mix – Of course, the perfect combination of protein and carbs. My trail mix recipe: peanuts, pecans (in the adult mix), pretzels, raisins and M&Ms. I tried it with chocolate chips, but they melted. M&Ms are required.

•fruit cups – all different fruits and applesauce combos. These are all shelf stable until opened.

•pudding cups – who knows why these don't require refrigeration?

•Jiffy Pop!

•”Shake and Pour” pancake mix – just add water!

•”Laughing Cow” cheese – I didn't realize it until I saw these on the shelf at Job Lot, that they do not require refrigeration.

•canned tuna and chicken – these can be added to the rice and noodle packets to make a meal out of a “side”.

•dried and canned soups and chili mixes.

Well, gotta go! Time for a packing and home inspection (bills paid, cat box set up, trashes emptied....that's a whole other story!)

(This is the 3^rd time I have written this blog post as “blogger” says it is saving it, but it disappears when I publish!)

Camping Revisited

2009-08-17T07:11:00.001-07:00

As you know, if you read my previous post, we went camping this weekend. It was a "dry run" for our trip out West that we will embark on in 2 short weeks. I feel less prepared, but Steve was very happy for our failures this weekend. He said, "Yay, now we know what won't work!"

We did find several issues that need to be addressed:

1. Sleeping Mat Fail: I found out that the self-inflating mats I purchased were "JR" size and only 4 ft long! These were supposed to be for the 3 "adults" and then we purchase 3 foam mats for the kids. When we pulled out the 4 ft mats, we had to switch everything around. The adults got the foam, one kid got the self-inflating mat, and the boys slept on the ground! Interestingly, none of the kids complained about their mat choices or lack thereof. I was surprised that even with a history of minor back complications, I slept "okay" on the foam mat. I slept the second night on the 4 ft. self-inflating mat (hey, I'm short) and did not like it at all. The air displaced and I ended up with a bubble at my head and my hip bones digging into the ground. Solution: Not sure yet. Either buy a higher quality self-inflating mattress or drag our old air mattresses with us.

2. Partial Pillow Fail: 2 family members did NOT like the inflatable pillows, but most of us thought they were fine. Solution: I may just allow the complainers to choose one normal pillow to bring along on our trip.

3. Coffee Fail: The funky one-cup coffee funnel thingy I bought made a crappy cup of coffee. I found this out when I tested it at home and so I just brought some normal filters to put in it. It still made a weak cup of coffee because the water just goes through too quickly. I'm sorry, but I need a decent cup of coffee in the morning. Solution: I am going to buy a camp percolator.

4. Lighting Fail: I had purchased these little LED lanterns from Walmart and boy, were they horrible. They do not illuminate. They blind! Solution: not sure yet.

5. Fire Fail: The fire wasn't really a failure, but I realized that attempting to cook over a fire will probably be a waste of time. Camping on our trip is a way to save $ on food and lodging. We have many other activities planned to fill our time. Getting a fire going and down to cooking coals takes a lot of time and bringing a cooking grate takes up space and weight. Solution: Most likely we will not do any food preparation over a fire. All food prep will be on the camp stove.

I have not gotten any further on my food menu, but my husband is now on board with finding food ideas that require little preparation or preservation. The search continues.

Going Camping

2009-08-13T20:39:00.001-07:00

I have been wanting to blog all week about the busyness of my life, but every time I started to do so I thought, "I'm really too busy to be blogging." I can't even systematically write down all that is going on from the daily mundane to the unexpected glitches to the extensive planning for future events.

So, I will tell you about camping.

I have spent this week planning and packing for our church camping trip, but with a larger purpose. Even though we are just camping this weekend for 2 overnights, we are planning a BIG trip out West for 2 weeks and much of the time we will be camping. The catch is that we have to fly out there and then camp along our route. So this weekend is our opportunity to see how many bags our stuff can be packed into and how we can cope without some of the amenities that we have available while camping here - primarily electricity. So, I am attempting to plan a non-electric weekend (even though there will be plugs at our site.)

I figured out long ago that you must find the appeal in planning a camping trip. Everything needs to be pre-prepared and packed. There is a sense of satisfaction in having just the right things available for camping convenience and fun. Nothing beats having the kids say, "mom, did you bring _______?" and answering, "yes, yes, I did." Of course, my former attitude about camping, being hatred, was spawned from being an uneducated and unprepared camper. This will be a tough weekend because we are purposely leaving many things at home to see how we will fare without them on our big trip. Fortunately, I can bring whatever food I want on this trip, because we will be buying all of that when we get out there for our trip out West. Still one has limited car and cooler space and so meal-planning is a must. In fact, I think meal planning and preparation is the main complication to camping. If you didn't have to eat, camping would be easy.

I have learned to keep a running list of necessary (and not so necessary) items and menu and use it from year-to-year. The only problem out West will be when will we have refrigeration and access to grocery stores. That's hard to predict, so I am trying to think of as many non-perishable meal items as possible without getting into too much preserved, prepackaged crap. I actually have a pretty good list, and I think I may plan out a complete menu so I know what I am making and purchasing for every day we are camping and eating. I am hopeful for a few hotels with breakfast included too!

I am sure that our church friends will think we are nuts as we ignore the electrical plug at our site this weekend and make our coffee in a funnel with a filter....

but I am bringing my Crockpot for the potluck....sssh, don't tell my husband.

Stimulating the Economy Against My Will

2009-08-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

I am wondering if other families find themselves in financial conundrums like we do. I feel like we are spending money like drunken sailors with no end in sight. It's not like we are shoppers or folks who eat out a lot either. I consider us rather frugal, but we have had some astronomical purchases lately.

We got our son a new camera for his birthday. He is really talented artistically and he wanted to try animation, using stop-motion techniques. We really felt that we should invest in his natural talents.

Steve and I have no camera. He wants to buy one.....a nice one.

I got a new computer. My old one was v...e....r....y slow and was having some serious memory issues. It was really getting bad. I use the computer A LOT for our homeschool non-profit group.

Our oldest daughter is embarking on some life changes that are causing necessary but costly expenditures:

1. Worldview Academy Leadership Camp - Okay, so it wasn't really necessary, but a very worthwhile week! She came back a changed person - Worldview Academy: expensive; Rewards: priceless

2. Driver's Ed - This only cost about $75 BUT now I am thinking that we need to add her to our car insurance! Ugh! I am thinking that we will ask her to foot the bill but haven't thought that through yet.

3. College Classes - She will be a Jr. this year and so is eligible to take a few college classes at the local community vollege. It counts towards college, but it still hurts the pocket.

We are getting goats. The goats themselves didn't cost much but the housing is adding up. I am hoping that not having to buy milk will more than make up for it over time!

Car repairs. The back latch on our Sienna just broke and cannot be opened.

My printer just died. The paper does not feed anymore. We will probably need to buy a new one.

I am probably forgetting some other things.....property taxes just came due, school expenses coming up.....

Oh, and did I mention we are going on a 2-week cross country vacation this fall?

Obama would be proud.

More About Me

2009-08-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, as one of my first posts, I guess I should explain a little about who I am , or maybe I am supposed to put that in a sidebar somewhere? Whatever....ooops. I told my son to stop saying, "whatever" because it was dismissive and disrespectful!

I am a wife of almost 20 years (in just a few weeks!) to Stephen Brock. He is a web-developer, with a company that he formerly co-owned. I don't think he likes managing people, so he is happy to be a "worker bee" in the company now. He really likes his work and I am glad of that. He is a good provider ; )

I am a mother to 4 children, ages 16, 14, 12, and 7. I am sure they will come into more detail later.

I homeschool my children. See, I knew they would come up again.

I am an artist. I actually was on artistic sabbatical for about 15 years and have finally taken up the watercolor brushes again. I don't have my own camera though, so I need to rely on one of my children to let me take pictures of my paintings. So, sorry, no visual accompaniment, but maybe later. The title sunflower watercolor is one of my pieces. My husband and I both graduated from RISD.

I am a gardener. I don't really see this as a label for myself, but I guess it has become one. I do have a very prolific garden. My husband comments on it's craziness every year. I guess it is a talent/skill that has grown over the years. I tend to notice my gardening failures more than the successes....this year, too much rain, probably a poor tomato crop. Too bad because that was what I was planning on stocking for the winter - sauce and salsa are staples in our home!

Oh, and I am a Christian. That is the overarching definition of who I am. It IS who I am.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2009-08-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

Well, with the help of my teenage daughter, I am finally starting a blog. She is a trustworthy teenager, although she did hack my Facebook profile today and changed my picture. All sweet and in good fun. *ahem* I'm glad she is trustworthy.

When asked what I would write about, I just thought random stuff like, homeschooling, gardening, what I did that day, or my latest pet peeve. Hence the title "Blah, blah, blog."

There is a lot going on here in our household and so I should have quite a bit to write about in the coming weeks. Let's see.....we're getting goats, my husband is building a duck house for my daughter, I have Lyme disease, we are going on a 2 week vacation to the Rockies and west.....I'm sure there will be plenty to write about.